Wednesday, January 2, 2008

But

My heart seems to skip a beat
Everytime we meet
Over you, I break down so weak without you touch
Destiny that I'd cross the world just thinking of you

Stars twinkle when we are apart
The moon rebels against our hearts
Not meant to be together
Known to miss you forever
Last night, out of town torn by an arrow we broke away

It flew to hurt me and it grew to scare me
Loving you so much
BUT
Back from the promises I had to press rewind
And all that I could find
Was Emptiness

Empty from being empty when ur so far away
Empty from being empty when I hear ur goodbye
Empty from when you flied
Empty until my tears dried
Empty until I forgot - How to never be Empty again.
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -