Monday, January 21, 2008

Sudan rain

Spells fell

It was a season when the rain tumbled down the stairs of the sky –

I could smell the exotic purity land, softening the ground so hard, that was cracked with despair and drought –

The curtains waved a sense of gladness as they raised high from the wind welcoming them.

I looked out the openness of the window and inhaled the exhalation of peace –

As the droplets of true dreams became with me as one, the rain flowed into my heart becoming a part of me – understanding my need for its touch –

It rained the monsoon madness of happiness slowly transforming Sudan into a fit model –

The water pearls hung like a necklace around trees, they showered a sound of a crisp responsibility, a sweet tranquility to make the world it was in a better place –

I stood restless from all the feelings swaying inside me yet serene at the drama cooling all my senses –

The stillness of minds released me into a raw perfection as the yard filled and filled with water and water.

My smile increased like the levels and I began to expand my horizons –

Could I ever fall in love like this with someone I’ve never met before? Would I understand them like I understand every single droplets reason for being here? Can I admire a love like I admire the scene upon me – forever can I be calm with a love so pure?

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -