Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Your eyes


Afraid to love, a love that is too big for me
A mystical enchantment soaring through history from when Romeo and Juliet grooved a paradise of love before anyone knew it would become a tragedy. A triumphant glory of you and I parades through the streets flowing with romantic taxi cabs under agold stricken sky, bursting city height that would collapse balance. Electric swizzles down our way heating the darkness. Eyesight short of a future pain, I betray my natural soul searching and look into your eyes, falling in a cascading unique tone of blissful tranquility, the metropolitan advance of attraction pours its colour over me, never selfish of a drop - as I look into your eyes. Memory forgets to remember what it should rememeber as I still river through a traffic of a central park hypnotisation. My heart soars to beat in a flashing rythm, clicks of photographic peace drain from your brown pupils to slowly turn me a student of being afraid to love - a love that is too big for me.
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -