Saturday, January 5, 2008

Echoes in my mind_(The end)

Broken through the substance of my heart
My memories have all torn apart
Shattering pieces of my day
With nothing or no-one to take loss away
Whispering screams hidden in my soul
Lies decieve me as I fall

Unknown pictures color my meanings
I try and interpret all the intangible evenings
But sleep with a heavy innocence, that even I misunderstood myself
Even I hurt myself

Steps through time, through stairs to a notification
Reaching the top can still be a degradation
I was thieved out to be a rusted intruder
Like I stole my safety and spilled crude danger all over my weaknesses
Through crevices of failure I shined a polished blackness
Of my experiences

I felt lost, prison breaked in a series I couldn't escape from
The main actor suicidal to her role of
Famous despair shot through a lens of no repair
Writers strike of my episodes leaving me with an ending not meant, not fair

Cut life support of my dreams
They fell down a hollow of fantasised death
One line of magic stopping retarded of a sweet myth
An empty room where my eyes blindly covered with no breathing
Shallow exhale of a final invitation

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -