In this family

Broken family, lost in tragedy

Drowning in dirty waters -

Never to be saved with each other again

And now i'm afraid of future becomings

Dissapointment and torn appointments

With hearts and kindness

In our memories there is so much blackness

Tunnels of darkness, eternal madness

Is all that's left

Sold softness - I only feel pain

Between my emotions running into a magical crisis

All i want to do is write so i can forget

But all my pen does is spell words of regret

Please god don't hurt me from my family

Bleeding family weakening with blackmail

All the history has failed. Childhood honey destroyed

Into bitter beasts of adults, piercing trust

There is no more trust

In this family we need lawyers to speak for brothers

Behind tall walls we talk to lovers

And from tears we break each others - hearts

In this family we are always apart

Dying all the time a little bit longer - becoming smaller and smaller

This family is tortured from mistakes and failure

To love one another truly and to respect one another faithfully

Come to me - Family not like this

Speak to me - A memory not like this

Life is not like this

In this family we are a stolen dream kidnapped from happiness

We learn things the very hard way

What is the benefit of the past?

Because we only insult the future

Bursting into flames of hurt

I'm scribbling my sadness,

Our faults and priorities of no mercy

- There is no mercy

In this family we have sold serenity

Chatting with thorns of coffee

Pricking every sensation told as we breathe

Our problems disintegrate our minds

We kept secrets so close until they shattered to consult the world

Which war should our family soar? from behind our closed doors

Selfish to forgive -

In this family we dont take responsibility of our jealous fingertips

Hard expectations till we only take an exam of trepidation to grade our souls

We fall - in this family - we fall -

I can't stress how we've damaged one another

Thinking too quickly to understand

In our family trust is forever lost

Robbed and provided money of lust -

To eat through and crunch

Till we become invisible

Gobbled down a stomach of pain

In our family - only evidence that family is not as close as you dream

Please God - dont give me a family with this internal bleeding neighborhood inside

I'm failling to understand why this is happening to us

But yet again

All I have to know - it's this freezing family we serve to chill in and combust -

___________________

PART 2

We need to forget that we once loved

We need to learn to act

You have to take it as fact

That you will lose in this family

You will lose who once loved you

They will simply forget you

And change against you

You won’t be of any importance anymore

A long time ago it was

I didn’t know what was in store

And so I trusted and loved very much

But now the store has shown

And I regret trusting and loving so much

For them it didn’t mean so soft a touch

That I was a part of their lives – like they meant to me

Distances become larger in both seas and minds

We stop being so kind –

It takes a strong person to be in this family

And I’m not strong enough to take the tragedy

It’s a very heart breaking unit to be a part of

And when I look at the past and the present

I’m afraid of the terrible present – of the future

A very close time but it feels a long time each day drawing out into an example of what the next will be like

Until all the pain becomes alike -

But it’s nearly time to change my intentions

Not only do I not want anything

Not only do I not expect anything

Not only will I not give anything

But I want to be someone they can't remember or they can't relate to – literally –Someone they can't relate to – definitely

But then – if I do that – I will be exactly like my family –And the one thing I will never be – is like this family –But I will change my intentions – but never into the reflection

Of this family’s prediction – that this is family

No its not –And I will never tie a knot around the beauty of what true family means

So I will maintain my means

To give my role- to provide my soul – to be there for a call –But I will no longer fall – to believe in this family