Sunday, January 20, 2008

Feelings of madness

What is more affordable than a promise?
Free words to soothe the heart expensively
Your wallet of love could never become broke
I trusted your banks feelings to loan me days spent with you
Without debt of pain, high interest of fears
But you signed a twisted contract stamped with fears
Hidden between the lines you wrote to steal – all your smiles
You plotted to gain my payments to adore you
Until I was evicted from my mind
Too poor for the price I had to find

Lost in the battle to my sensation for you
Broken in the war of falling in love with you
In a glistening hotel amongst a city of promises
I rent out my heart for 2 nights of forever crises
The swirling door tumbles me in to your arms
Near candle, marble and velvet alarms
That I couldn’t hear through the beauty of the 5 stars -
The receptions welcome booked in my dreams
To stay with you true and real
To sway with you safe and surreal
The delicate cushions delayed my hurting fall
The early morning confectionary changed the tasted bitterness
Pastries and chocolate covered your unforgiving blackness
I became an extravagant ticking bomb
Inviting important acquaintances such as Mr. and Mrs. Betrayal
To come visit our torn family portrayal

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -