Sunday, January 6, 2008

I want you

Prisoned miracles sitting like a beaten king
Twisted darkness of faith
It's light beaming through a sky merciless with deception
Lust of rain falling a nightmare in disguise
Cobwebbed by your dreams - I wanted to share you with you
But you tore my heart like failed surgery
You broke my tears into two
As each fell it divided into more

Until puddles of my memories flooded my core

I want you to be a soldier for your life. Protect your body, your mind - I want you to have respect for who you are, to listen to what's right, to love who you truly are, not what you've been made out to be. I want you to never be lazy about work, prospects or hope. I want you never to be confused. I want you to know what you want and work very hard to get it. I want you to understand who you are, not what you were told. I want you to love your country, to protect it forever and to grow it in your children. I want you to love your religion and everything it means, all its given to you. I want you to always have a goal, have courage, have soul, have truth.
I miss you more than you could ever imagine
I miss you more than words could say
A designer love on a runway shattering with problems
I'm so jealous, jealous of you
You have what I want but you won't give me anything
I'm jealous of those girls around you
I'm jealous of what other people have and we dont have
It's always pleasure with pain --- always

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -