Friday, February 1, 2008

Khartoum Heartbreak 2

The sun shines frantically to hide the darkness of my sorrow- it melts my depression of not having you into the realms of an African tragedy – I listen to the melancholy drip drop of sweated tears – crying from my inner breakage – my third world average – I would never be able to pay of the debt of attraction – too poor for your eyes to ever expensive -ise me – desertification of passion flows through my veins – I pray to the skies miracles wishing it would rain – rain your soul that would irrigate my dreams from excessive temperatures of heartache – You are - tempers soft against the gale of the harsh madness – I whisper to my torn apart land, that it would be alright, if I just forgot about you – if I starved all my desire beneath rib cages only strong enough to pretend – maybe I could lend - malnourished thoughts of you to my mind – then I wouldn’t find – a storage of the twilight extravagance of your eyes to explore my secretive feelings – when you look at me – so close yet so tropically far – I could never become more intimidated by romance and torment at the same time – star lights night engaging my protest to hold you near and tell you my fears – the darkness pours its reasoning suddenly, randomly - I am twisted in a (fairymare, nighttale) of what I could never be to you – every meaning that it spells – no matter how the caged balconies free my temptations – I could never make you understand what you mean to me – so I silence my Khartoum heartbreak as it could never be – that you and I are on the same equator of love

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -