Echoes in my mind_ (dreaming to be real)

Loss at the optimum
I lie to the maximum
Strength at minimum

My problems choke me
Protrude and enhance me
Into eras and decades of tears
Through centuries and lifetimes of fears
I always rhyme tears and fears
They go so well in meaning and feeling
I contemplate changing and breathing a new type of thinking
But the air I take is disappearing as it passes my cold interior of lungs
Frozen by the refrigerated happiness
Ice spikes crack through my warmth
I become shattered with remorse
As I stay the same yet yearning to run to win in the match of freedom of minds
But like the referee has red carded me
In life – to be – stopped

Trying to fix myself but end up looking like a disfigured portrait
I need something
Like a new soul
Or lessons to change this one
I’m feeling empty
Cold and shady
Sick
From all the contamination coming from my thoughts
Wasting my energy into all that is wrong
Dreams
They slide in an out of my soul
Sometimes saving me other times helping me fall
Lost in their captured freedom
Yet yearning to land in their open kingdom
Dreams
Revolutionize in my mind
Re conquer my silence
And fill me with gushing memories and remedies of a past that can't last but a future that is waiting to be lived the right way
I don’t know what to say
So many feelings blinding me
But I don’t know what to say
All the words making landslides and mountains
But I don’t want to say