Friday, August 17, 2012

Day 29_ The final possibility

like a journey that has to finish or a traveller that has to go
even though you really dont want themto
you remember that it was hard to serve them or change your time to them
but then you remmeber how much fun you had and good time you spent
how attached you became like they were a part of you

Ramadan the traveller i dont want to go

I ask myself
what did I learn
 strength
perserverance
determination
love for god
loving to ask him
asking him
 begging him
determined for a reply
praying
loving to pray
tasbeeh
waiting to count
harship
joy on eating
taking food for importance
its taste
the feeling of fullness
making time for it at night
cooking it
last month i respected food
none of just anything
anywhere
none of just everything somewhere
what else did I learn
staying up
sleeping less at night
reading quran
the beautfiul quran
the beautiful beautiful quran
things i learnt
highlighted
read again
cried over
feared over
joyed over
hoped for
wished never to go to through
prayed to never forget
and wished i could have


Ramadan
the peaceful warrior
the courageous lover
the perfect example of a distinct beauty
and closer relation to al thhat is right

now I ask myself
what is the next step when tomoro
it will take its bags with my prayers and dreams and go see what it can do about it?

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -