Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Unless you pray,...

when they see you next time they go ...silent or was it wow or a gasp
yes it was

a gasp

911 call the police
yes what is your emergency?
my dreams have been stolen
when
for about as long as i can remember
do you have any suscpicions
yes the devil
 yes maam we think he's stolen a lot of other people's dreams  too we know he can be very dangerous and cunning
have you left the windows and doors of your soul open?
I tried to close them but clearly not tight enough
yes he can get through your smallest weakness and split
well i'm sorry we cant do anything to get back yor old dreams
once he's taken them theyre gone for he uses them to replenish his own strength so he can attack again
What?
so how am i supposed to live now?
I dont know maam
I guess youll have to build new ones
but i want my old ones back
cant you search for him, put out a warrant search or soemthing ? maybe he hasnt consumed mine yet, maybe theyre still in his pocket and thus I can get them back, please help me, I must have them back they were the most beautiful dreams, filled with light and hope and an image in my mind i never wanted to get rid of or forget, they were dreasm of gold and diamonds and they were hard but they were worth it,  I want them back , I want them back NOW!
we'll try maam but the chances are slim unless...
unless what?

unless you pray
pray very hard, and when you think youve prayed hard , pray harder, because youre only hope of retrieving them is an angel fighting for you and winning them back, an angel is the only thing that can get them back for u their light blinds the devil and their speeed is a million to one compared to him, if you can pray so hard , maybe an angel will be sent down for you to get them back but remember they only help those who they think really will care about their dreams once theyre back- they wont do it just because youre sad or unhappy , theyll only do it if you work hard enough if you really love your dreams - if you really are made for them

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -