Monday, August 27, 2012

I lived , I loved for faith, for success, for health, and for myself

It's here the first trauma
you feel like your hanging on by dear life
and like a chess board
you always lose
do you want to be cornered in life like that ?
learn from your pain
do you want the devils to corner you like that?
move here
lets get her throught taht
plan this
lets ruin herplan by doing this
are you moving in life simply to protect yyourself or get out of situations or
are you the one moving the game?
if you want something ?
do you get it>?
its been just over a week since ramadan
the more days pass the harder it will get
i know that
but the stronger you should become
dont forget your dreams and dont forget your strengths
your aspirations
youre a lucky woman
you really are
dont abuse that
dont thrwo that away
thats what youre doing
god
look at how many resources
you have
choices you have
sunshines you have
happinness you have
dont throw that away
in fact
flower it
cherish it
so one day inthe future you say
when i was here i lived i loved
dont forget your role model
 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -