Monday, July 16, 2012

Tide swept or anchor ?2

Imagine
just imagine if for a few days, hours and time you could be free
i mean totally who you want to be
have everything you need
fresh air
calmnesss
faith
and power

imagine if you could do it all
see it all
feel it all
live it all
mean it all
have it all

imagine if just a few days you are not damaged
you aren ot broken
you are not mad at yourself
yo uare not sad with yourself
you are not shattered

imagine if you were otherwise
well
healthy
wise
happy

imagine
too far eh?
always too far?
always flying away you are
always away
you are always far far away

in space someplace
worried
heartbroken
wondering
heavy

with turmoil
regret
guilt
impatience
dishonesty

imagine if you could be the meaning of hope
hope

Imagine 
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -