Monday, July 2, 2012

July is here _ what a beautiful month _Ramadan is in it

Dont stop now
Dont stop the fight
Pray pray pray till the heat from the light
burns
with all its might


Dont stop
not now
notever
remember
only determined people are clever

you must continue
you perservere
but most importantly you must believe

Ya RAb help me today
help me tomorow
help me now
help me later
help me always
help me get the things i want
for the thigns i want are astarting to get hard
becasue ive jumped up my bar
ive raised my bar
and i need your help so bad to keep it there
ya rab i ask you to help me
in all the aspects of my life
for ive started anew chapter
a new happily ever after
with you in my heart
and i beg you to help
thsi month is beautiful
I cannot wiat
 even though i am afraid
but its just my soul being hungry already for all the wrong things
 but i am teaching it and changing it
and soon
i will arrive

Ya rab
help me get the things I need
and the things that will make my paretns happy
Ya Rab
I must make them happy
I must
Ya rab

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -