Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 1

Day 1 - a peace surrounds me and encapsualtes me with love
I feel protected from myself
 my sins my pains my dramas
suddenly its like someone put hte mute button on
or the pause on a movie
wait
wait
watch yourself
who are you
what is it that you want
need
desire
who is it that you want to be
what kind of woman
suddenly air becomes still and every movement means something else
the normal becomes special the
lost become found
the alone become together
the hungry learn to feed their souls
for i think to myself
is this how hungry my soul is?
for i have not watered it with enough prayers
or fed it with enough of gods words
if i could feel my souls hunger like my stomachs hunger
i would surely crave to feed and water it
with what it needs

today  everythign is beautiful from the simple to the compicated
everywhere i found peace today
from the morning to the end
strength will come
faith will grow
its like giving an antidote for an infection
or finding a cure for a disease
my ears listen
my eyes can see
my hands can feel
my body can heal

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -