Friday, November 13, 2009

I never usually 29


Why didn't you want me to go with you?


Why didn't you answer your phone?


Because you turned off your phone


I had to do it

I don't think so!

You didn't want to hear my voice because you didn't want me by your side

I didn't miss you at all!


me neither!


Sure, if you act like a stranger, you won't miss

You let me be a stranger!


Not at all!

Are you sure?


Her eyes, her eyes beg him to stop this, this argument, this anger - missing him was torture , and now that he was here, all she could do was be angry, trying to be proud - for if he did not give in, she could not either....


Her eyes were the language to his soul, he understood what each frantic stare was, every blink, every happiness, every sadness - she missed him, she was scared -

and suddenly all he could do was under estimate the passion he had for her - holding her face within his warm hands , her soft curls falling in his jacket, he kissed her cheek, touching his lips was a mesmerising intensity,she kissed him back with blinding need, holding his hands, the only thing that made her feel safe, making sure he never let go - -



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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -