Sunday, November 8, 2009

I never usually 22


nee da?


why are you ignoring the obvious?

why are you shoving it far back in a place hidden with your consent to become ignorant about the obvious?

why are you forgettting that the simplest explanation is the obvious one, the one that is more likely?

why are you forgetting that time, that day, thatsecond, when thoughts checked into realisation and it was right there, it was ..right there and you saw it, why can't you see thats obvious?

why did you read it, and get shocked by it, trying to elimate the verbs with your eyes, over a cold freezing shower, in a suddenly freezing apartment, in a very obvious freezing truth

why , wasn't it obvious?

messages and passages into someones secrets you know that you cant hide that you entered

you were given a chance to see,

now that was obvious,

flying over seas and lands, you flew, you were alone, you were brought all the way down back so you could... see the obvious, that you had been so obviously worried about , and it had become ... now inflicted as a true secret sitting on your life

isnt it all abvious, now, then, tommorow, what's going on?

so why are you not accepting the pain of losing

so why are you not accepting the worry of words

so why are you not becoming the change you need to be?

strong and different with all these dreams forgetten , for they had been crushed and that was very very obvious

nee da?

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -