Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I never usually 25


I must not consider, for if I do, I have considered the destruction of my soul


You see ,sometimes people feel distrust to the person whom they should most trust

you feel theyre hiding something

that is right in front of you

but you are just on different lanes to see it

sometimes, you think that you could discover

if you just looked here, or went there, or even asked

but when you think about it

you are destroying yourself

wasting all this time

thinking

crying

breaking

out all the options of a possible disaster

lets saY it was true

lets say there was a trick somewhere inthe middle ofyour life

spirits falling aprt under a different light you would see.... a shattered mirror reflecting a thousand pieces all piercing through your heart

lets say...

you were staring right at that mirror

would you be satisfied?

that you got to this place

that you found what you were digging for

or would you wish you were back to the day

you were only .... wondering , whats underneath that earth of lies

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -