Thursday, November 12, 2009

I never usually 27


I can't find any words to console you

Why are you keeping queit?

why don't you shout?

I deserve all that

I've never seen you like this

you are not someone like this


...............What would you like to see in me?


One that blows like a storm

Taking everything that comes in her way with her


...................I just want to be queit


You've shown me who I am

An eagle with no wings

An eagle who looks around for hunters with a fear inside

but it knows that the hunter will win in the end

You won


Even with no wings, you are an eagle

But I've never been a hunter


But you took the most valuable thing that belongs to me, away from me

You took it and destroyed it

Do you understand that?

You have a problem with us?

First you took our land

understanding land

is in a way understanding a human being

but you didn't understand

I know that you want to hurt us

whatever your case, it will never end

I can't be like you

I can't tie up peoples hands and arms and then just watch them

Now, you got what you wanted

I have to go...


Wait...

Listen to me for a while

Don't go like this


...You won

You reached your goal

I lost it

Are you happy now?





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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -