the extravagance of his touch
and the memories in his voice
and the reasons for his choice
to choose me
God Its all my fault
I'm not strong as I thought
or beautiful as I knew
for my heart is blackened few
sins but large commands to become unknowledged
and powerless to believe
even though I am a believer
God I cant be me
for all I see, is him being locked free
I know he hurts but i hurt more
and I know he misses but all my arrows have missed
but I am the selfish crowd
harbouring cold and cloud
I dont know what Im going to wear
what if things go lost
at what cost?
will i survive?
Ya Rab , stop these ridicules in my head
I am a strong powerful sudanese woman born and bred
living slightly on the edge of life
and yet trying to always eat as much as I can from the world
wrong decisions prioritise my campaign
and the actual few right ones I take in vain
yes no always maybe
marilyn monroe was never sure how beautiful she looked
and felt so alone even though the whole world adores her
I just want him to adore me
and to never forget me
and to forgive me
I dream into space
to think of the deepest part of me
and converse with its madness
but all i hear is nothing
and all i see are regrets
and all i see is weakness
and all i see is a weak woman
a weak weak woman
one who is ready to give up the after for life
and the quran for facebook
and God for sleep
and love for earrings
and time for death
slowly as I am alive
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