Thursday, April 4, 2013

maybe... that day will come

got to lot to say but words cant translate
got a lot to do but time wont relate
got a lot to feel but body is numb
got a lot to promise that i gotta get done
got a lot to give in this beautiful time
got a lot to choose like your love divine
got a lot to stop so I can become one
got a lot to start even if im over run

but can i not do it all?
over hot cardemon tea and walnut coffee cake at a time sublime
with birds chirping in a young balcony decorated by flower pots and bamboo chairs... i think
as pink and silver earrings hold on to me for they dont know anybody else here sitting writing in the future of a calm blissful balanced beautiful bright and breathtaking girl? woman

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -