God I have so many dreams all opened by an amazing man
but really ive always had those dreams i just didnt know how to make them
or feel them or hold them the right way
i wish I could wear my life in my hand then maybe that way i wouldnt be able to hold anyhting else
like fears or worries
i imagine
coming to you again dear God and thanking you in your
home
I wont forget i will come
inshallah
with him and i will show him to you and say look and thank you
these days im not praying very well skipping and starting and sleeping and not waking on time
but i promise i will change a part likke the way i used to be and a part even better
i want to become this woman even i dont know
beautiful because shes kind
rich because of her heart colour
blind to the world but the world is not blind to her
one ready to form emotions truthful and emotions blissful
not for her
but for someone who deserve them
and i imagine
red velvet cake on a summers day - with birds chirping and baskets of flowers and plants hanging maybe white maybe pink
magazines with fashion lie silently on the glass table bought yesterday still unread today but beautiful they look and a dress peacock with life turquioses life into a drawing i can only imagine
for it seems hard to make real
i dont know where to find red food colouring in sudan
lately this is my most common statement
what is missing in sudan?
my heart aches at my selfishness and impurities
because the real question should be
what isnt missing in sudan?
family
sun
love
love
love
love
love
helping people
noise
khartoum lights at night
barking dogs at night
winter cold
dry cold
eva honey
sting cheese
life
the only thing missing in sudan is me
sudan is a light in darkness
my passion for sudan is long old
ive loved it since forever
in love and passion with khartoum at night
and the sound of refrigerators sleeping at 3am
obsessed with the peace one has at night that becomes invisible in the morning to crazy traffic and insane people baked like my red velvet cake in the sun
amazing times can be created
ive always asked sudan to forgive me for going
for living away from its mud and dirt and hours
ive always asker my home to ....
to make me one of hers
to make me a part of her land
to not forget i am one of her birth
and i thought she hated me for leaving
and never wanted me back
but now i think she wants me to stay forever
for she has opened her african roots and heat to me
this time with honesty and love and passion
i never could imagine
near the river nile waking i sleep
and sleeping i wake
to the smell of african sunsets
this time the right time
with hot cardemon tea and
.....an amazing man
my home has fed me good things and i feel forgiven by its soul
1 comment:
Your words give me purpose to feel good ..
Helps me to understand the city I live in ..
You get two home or maybe three ... But I have one
You telling me how much this one is like heaven ..
I know you want me to try ... Just to close my eyes ..
And try ...
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