Monday, March 4, 2013


I clean
as water comes back to my life

i feel like im removing old layers of my ugly days and the smell of lemon citrus comes to save me
makes a new me
bubbles and water shine up my room and I am now

filled with water
filled with angels for they only come to the clean

I am filled with life

I clean

all my past miseries
all my last worries
and begin a new night

every time i go to nas khalti su3ad I become a new person
but this time
i will always be a newer person
that will be irreversible
and i will never turn back
i will never regret
and i will never forget
that i aim to be like them

God please help me clean all my cracks
and all my tracks
I want to wash everything inside me
and wait for it dry
I want to scrub all that makes me
until it shines
I want to wipe all that is within me
until it glows
 I want to change everything taht is me
until I become ....the role model

I clean
all that is mine
and now everything is divine

washing my life is blissful
and i am sad i was never like this before

I clean
all that surrounds me
until it shines and reflects me

the woman i see that wants to be me

full of water
full of life
full of love
full of time
full of energy
full of good things
full of good things


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -