everything makes sense here -everything is beautiful here -i was made here - and i want to make others here - this is my home, this is my life - so why should i go? - my goodbyes are very very very expensive this time and i feel so poor as i have to pay it all , my memories, my dreams, my past, my touch and my kiss and suddenly i begin to taste europe still in his triangle-- as he said - he was right - youre in europe the minute you are on the plane- -i remember his words -i remember his voice -i remember everything but i dont see anything and i certainly cant feel anything- except - i see white and blue -i hear foreign languages -I sense time is precious and I have to move rigid -I have to move in line -i have to forget for a little while -and become the old hope - one that i dont like anymore - different - alien - a stranger to this reality
I
take
slow
steps
my body doesnt want this
my mind doesnt want this
my eyes dont want this
my life doesnt want this
even my bags dont want this as they fight me and i try hard to make them and me travel
tonight
everything is slow and paused
maybe i could turn back
just run back
and become the wife of the man i want to marry
tonight
no other time
but tonight
now
be there
instead of being here
alone
I take a deep breath and take my first step on the plane for i have no choice but to not stay
i have no choice
but to not stay
to be continued..............
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