Monday, March 18, 2013

Try for the last time 1

I think its time I held my soul
in my hand and changed it ideas 
I think its time I create my own shape
I think its time my mind stopped playing
I think its time I woke up to all that glow
and fascination for beauty i have undiscovered
underlying inside me like an unerupted volcano
I think its time i asked for help
but at the same time
this is my journey
the one ive lost
and the one ive denied
myself pleasure to take
anad so I must be the leader of my footsteps
I think its time I broke all the rules
and became a part of something greater
and smiled truly because I want to....
not because I have to
I think its time I walked
faster to the place I want to go
 i think its time I jumped higher
to reach stronger altitudes of satisfaction
I think its time I just stopped
tricking myself
that I am happy.....
for I dont feel like the pink reggae i should be
or the red velvet i want
or the passionate white silk i dreaM
or the turquiose pearls I see
and I want to be......
for the brown chocolate man
I love soo much
like really good music
I ........
to be continued

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -