Change the whole of me 6

 I want to be strong
adamant
and dedicated
to any cause I decide to take part of
the ones Ive chosen
and the ones that have chosen me

I want to have meaning
and power and I want others to be able to depend on me
before I even depend on them

I want to be beautiful because I am kind
I want to be faithful because i am in love
I want to be in love because I am faithful

I want to be honest
and hopeful for a brighter tommorow
I want to start new chapters
and finish old stories
and maybe even write new books

 I want to be me
the one ive always dreamt of
pure
honest
kind
beautiful
faithful

 Iwant to write about deep inside me
and about deep inside others
expand the horizons of joy
and the creations of my intensity

I want to be neat
like clean kitchens across chinese embassies
in....khartoum

I want to be clean
of heart and body and
living rooms
and clothes
pearls
and silk

I love silk
but silk needs special attention
and a smooth curve,.,,,,not sharp corners


I love it here
the queit
the peace
the cold......
the escape into a mindless retreat
just life

and good things to have and create

I love it there
the hustle
and bustle and
also calm after 12 pm Khartoum nighttime
just dogs barking in the black of another hard sun day
sweating amidst coolness and loving in the tropics
loving in the tropics
african suburbs break time
and just like i wanted
in the background of a humming,,,,,, refregirator

swimming pools remain in the quest to be found
and good things from abroad
but shops also have details that i want
to find
like three coloured shoes for 75 although it should be 40

takes time to love
although ive been loving my whole life
ive dreamt of this my whole way
rakshas crying for your step
and traffic lights being mistaken

love unfolds wildly
i dont like simple
i dont like the known

I like mysterious
and difficult
like level 5
or 6
out of 6
in the game of tell me who you are hope

___________________

tell me who you are

and ill tell you what youre not

tell me who you want

and ill tell you where he is

tell me what you see

and il ltell you its not here

tell me what you have

and ill tell you dont have anything at all

tell me how much is your faith

and ill tell you , youre poor

tell me about flying

and ill tell you , thats not it

for you will always drop

to the ground