Saturday, March 23, 2013

for his eyes only....

just how I seem to trust him blindly
he can be my eyes that i see with
for I cannot see anything anymore except through him

just like I uncontrollably love him wildly
he can be my faith and my heart beating through the skies
he can be the eyes that i need to see life with
for I cannot be the same anymore
and i dont want to be


_______
for his eyes only
I want him to never ever be lonely
for his eyes are precious
he can see difficult and breaking things
like mystery and gold with pink satin
or destiny around navy dantelle
and maybe he can see how much i need him
and how many things have been broken without him
like my heart


things are not what they seem
but for his eyes
i may just turn into an egyptian queen
or an enchanted princess
or an invisible beauty that no one
will ever know about
tasting of caramel and euphoria
or maybe even the number 5 of dreams
I dont know ......

I just feel like I cannot see anymore for he is my eyes
and am waiting for him to give me back - please ?


at least thats what i never hope.........


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -