Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I wonder what ill dream today

I wonder what ill dream
I wonder will it seem so true like
the air i breathe
or the shadow that follows

I wonder what ill see
will it be love or peace
or will it be pain I cease to feel
will i remmeber you
amidst the growing fairytales in my mind
in real empire of city truth

I wonder will i hear you
from over here
expanding my lungs with new seconds
every second
in time


I wonder will i chase beauty
till i find it
within me _ a race of eternal harmony
I search everywhere
to find the key
to me

I wonder what ill dream today
will it be like yesterday or will it
be new and real and strong

like the grandess of a city scraper
or the tall infrastructure of a new mind
or the gaping windows of a fitted heart
with fait h
or the far away furthest building that i can see
in the horizon of another afternoon

as i wonder what i will dream today 
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -