Sunday, June 17, 2012

Door 1: Stability


Do not let it get to you
remember you are in control
remember you are the one who is right
just like you have tied up all these knots
you are the only one who can unleash them

Remember, just like you feel
the reverse can happen
life can open for you a whole new flower
a whole new chapter
but you are only one who can turn that page

you are the only one who can smell that scent


I know you hurt
I know you ahve tears in your eyes
I Know you feel bad
I know you feel dumb or stupid that you are here now

but listen
all those feelings will not do anything
the only feeling that will help is stability of the dream , of the truth
what is your dream? now stabilise it
do it every day
believe in it every second
live it every moment
fantasise about it in hyour sleep
change your whole life to accommodate that dream
 and nothing else

nothing else 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -