Sunday, June 24, 2012

Door 5:Balance

Door 5: Balance
I am so unbalanced doing one thing too much
and nothing of another

I think i know what is righ and what is wrong and I am afriad of doing wrong
and yet I am still unbalanaced
suddenly I am being pulled at rapid speed through a tunnel of a dream ive always wanted
I cannot stop
its like a train at high high speed
going somewhere
forthe firs time in my life my life has meaning
strengthand hope
for the first time I can see something happening and truth unshadowed
i feel wise
surreal
happy
just happy
and
im
patient
I am impatient
I am
realistic with a bit of un
I know it will take time but I am willing to unbalance my life so much and step into a superstars day to create my dream faster
thats not being unrealistic that is working overdrive

but
there is also faith
fasting
truth and honesty
that i have forgotten
the reason I am here
the prayers I have prayed
the real life
the one I also live

balance
there must be blance hope
or you will lose on something else and then
you will think....oh no
lets turn the other way
to fix it and before you know it
winning on this one thing
wont mean anything for you would have lost too many other important things

BALANCE

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -