Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Tommorow year

I will remember you year with all your respect and pain
All your love and torment
All your drama
Particularly my drama
I will remember the travels
And the money spent
The love given and the tears poured
I will remember the disgust within the torment growing
I will remember it all 
The love and the hardships
The joys and the miseryS
The losses and the lost
The firsts and the lasts
I will remember the lack of faith
The lack of trust
The lack of belief
The lack of dreams
The lack of trying
Will remember it all
Until 57 minutes
Where i will be 29 
And will remember nothing 
And begin a new day
Everything  will be new
Everything will be hard
Everything will be personal
Everything will be earned
Everything will be sweated for
Everything will be advanced
Everything will be mine
For i am a selfish being
Everything will be calm
Will be hppy
Will be all i ever wanted to be all in one
Will be things i never held and the joy i never had
Will be the patience i need 
And the patience i mustseed
Will be the woman within me 
And the woman inside me
That has been locked upwith her beautiful hair dreams islam And long satin  flowing glimmering light blue like the  sky dress
In 51 minutes
All will be well

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -