Memoirs of a Sudanese Breath: Tommorow year

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Tommorow year

I will remember you year with all your respect and pain

All your love and torment

All your drama

Particularly my drama

I will remember the travels

And the money spent

The love given and the tears poured

I will remember the disgust within the torment growing

I will remember it all

The love and the hardships

The joys and the miseryS

The losses and the lost

The firsts and the lasts

I will remember the lack of faith

The lack of trust

The lack of belief

The lack of dreams

The lack of trying

Will remember it all

Until 57 minutes

Where i will be 29

And will remember nothing

And begin a new day

Everything will be new

Everything will be hard

Everything will be personal

Everything will be earned

Everything will be sweated for

Everything will be advanced

Everything will be mine

For i am a selfish being

Everything will be calm

Will be hppy

Will be all i ever wanted to be all in one

Will be things i never held and the joy i never had

Will be the patience i need

And the patience i mustseed

Will be the woman within me

And the woman inside me

That has been locked upwith her beautiful hair dreams islam And long satin flowing glimmering light blue like the sky dress

In 51 minutes

All will be well

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -