On your last day of year 28 in yur life
Definitely with life
With blood and fear
With emotions
With tears
With work with no work
Here you are
On the last day pf your 28th year
This day
28 years ago
Mama was tired and emotional and just wanting u to desperately enter this world
She was at the end of her journey to make u and at the start of being there for u
And now here u are
Just a pointless,,, senseless woman, type
Of a daughter
Of a friend
Of a cousin
Of a wife
Of a lecturer
Of a studyer
Of a believer
If you take all those things
You wonder still why allah hasnt given u the chance to be like ur mama
And now here you are
Alone
And gonna start inshallah ur 29th year
Of life
Not like sanaa
She died in year 14 of her life
You just lived her age twice
Now arnt u lucky
A winner of competition
Youve always been a competer
Even with those who have lived Three times the age of your life
Now isnt that just smart of u
Putting ur small 28 with 78
And trying to deal with her the same way u deal with 58
And they way u deal with 28
With u
Isnt that just clever now
....
Arnt u just clever
And smart now
Arnt u always hiding
Arnt u always running
Arnt u always apologising
What is an apology
?
Is it the excuse to say anything u want and then erase later?
Is it the chance to get people to unserstand really how kind u are?
Is it the realisation that u really are sorry?
For what are u sorry?
Being u
Or being there
Or being here
Or being somewhere in thought that just wasnt right with others
Can u divide and apology?
Like say im sorry for this but nit sorry for that.
?
What if someone realises ur not really sorry u just dont want to lose them
I dont know what i want to lose
But i do know i want to be alive
But not like these past 28 years
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