Thursday, February 25, 2016

hello azan

I havnt woken up at this time for a long time
my heart wakes
I am bored being the old me
checking for any glimmer of care i realise its over
like a relationship where the man says to you
its not you, its me
or where he just leaves
stops sending you messages, or even flowers
and you are still wondering first thing in the morning and last thing at night
just where their feelings for you went 
I twist and turn and remember the rooftop song from messages and think
yeah i love that girls music
I really am cool
I discovered her long before others
and then i hear the azan
now people have discovered its beauty long before me
its opening for opportunity
its chance for change
its door for fogiveness
it meant something to me today
and so i left the old me behind
and woke up


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -