Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The mean gift

Keep strong
know your limits
know your tears
 taste them but dont drown in them
feel them but dont let them burn
wipe them away before they melt you
and you become one of those...
arrogant self centred women who really are kind inside but mean on the outside
like you know who and ...who

you know the translation is I dont give a !"£$ about your party
my translation is : I wish i was there

but things are going to improve
dont break down
like all the cars whos last fun ride was a million years ago
and dont tear apart
like bread broken to feed
untamed and unpolished

and dont give up
and dont be one of those...

thorned women
dont be the blade to cut you open
and unnerve you
you have to keep strong
it will happen
you just have to believe and be patient
and remember that whatever the reason
it will go away one day
so dont give up
and dont lose hope 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -