Monday, February 22, 2016

the writing scheme

is do nothing at work day
except wonder about why i havnt written for so long about all the things I miss , love and need

about all the dreams, and exceptions
about all the drama
and the love
like how i just have a dream
that im not doing anything to control
to hold in my arms like that baby i want

i wonder am I good?
I must write about that
i must write about my intentions and my solitude
the dramas i spin and the arguments that i enter each and every single time

I must write about all the things that make me good at heart and all the things that make me poor
like how i just have no patience
and how i am tempted

and how i am lost
and how i am lazy
and how  i have a voice
yes i have a voice

and hell its loud

but is it worth anything?
am i just a despair of shouting
a bundle of drowning goodness
am i really making my self ill by all those people who think bad of me

sometimes you need to send a message to outer space knowing you wont get a reply
but it helps your coordination

prove to me you have some coordination

I am like beyonce

I slay but am i worth anything?
is someone out there thinking

ooh our hope , she means a lot to us, we miss her, we need her, we understand, we want

i think not


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -