Wednesday, February 17, 2016

the trigger neighbour ... everything is meant for a reason

You story is unique
you will not be like so and so
or so and so
you will be like you
for its only written for you
it is only your story you can live
so dont have the feelings of a broken woman
be strong
be strong and be available for Allah to love you
dont be the far away muslim who wants things and doesnt do anything to get them
tears wont buy anything
sadness wont make anything
only love and patience will
so be on that stop not the wrong stop
the train will come , even if delayed, even if late,
and if one train is cancelled , the next one will still come
even if you have to wait for the morning to rise
the next train will come
so dont give up and walk away
dont shatter under pressure
dont break into pieces
dont fall apart
you deserve to love yourself and believe in yourself
and want the best for yourself
not the least
dont give up
dont look at others with remorse
dont look at yourself with remorse
have hope
have faith
have trust
have love
have peace of mind
not war of mind
give up the things that pain you
like words and endless words and endless experiences of so many that you dont even know
its just more kilos to take on your shoulders and the broken back will come
stop the madness
stop the  sadness
and remember that you have always prayed
you have always been ehre for Allah to forgive you
and give you
and you have always been a good person
dont just let that go
now when you actually need Allah the most
 he is there for you

he is

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -