Monday, February 8, 2016

i wish ... not to be like her

its sad to hear about other peoples problems
i wish them no pain
and i am afraid of comparisons
but i know none can compare
but life is a mystery
i wish to be heard
i wish to be found
i wish to have
and i always ask what about others
what do they want?
and i make the wrong predictions and think
probably not
but then i hear
probably yes
i wish i was a better person
i hope things are better
i hope my body is strong
i hope it forgives me for all ive done
and that it prepares for life as if its a cleanse
i hope allah helps me and protects me
i hope he heals me
and i hope everything comes true
ya rab make everything come true
for me and for others who want
but ya allah help me
and  please let it all come true
ya rab
ya rab

as for others
the fragrance
the perfume
the beautiful smell
i wish luck
i wish and pray  that she is not suffering
and i wish that becomes in a happier world
i wish i come in a happier world
filled with results that are positive and days that are new and strange
and unique
ya allah
let my days be new and unique
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -