Saturday, November 16, 2013

Try for the last time 2

Theres a woman inside me gonna break free
its about time the prisoner was set free
theres a hope within me dying to be right
but been living without truth and unable to fight
or is it didnt want to fight
been feeding devils and wondered why so hungry
been providing for them and wondered why so busy
without product
felt like a by product
of surrender
couldnt feel myself, my hopes and my dreams
all in a shadow behind their cloud of black
covering me and tangling me till I couldnt see the track

There s a woman inside me gonna show the world
my world it can be better and it will be better
and its always been better
and ..lighter

except now
lighter from sin
from lack of effort and
from fear
lighter from fear
and lighter from a heavy soul

for im tired of carrying all this weight in my soul
unalbe to let it shine
unable to let it gleam
unable to let it drive me into existence

all this time been waiting int he heat for the gates to open to a day I can see on the other side
but never seem to get a visa stamped to get htere
and it doesnt mattter what passport i have
or what imagination i own
i never fill the application right
and so i just stand while others pull up and pull through
and on the way I ask
oh how did you do it!
I never listen to their answer
I always wander at how whatever their answer is I could have done it but never did

theres a woman inside me
gonna try again
try again for the last time and the right time


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -