Saturday, November 16, 2013

Belated Happy new year

Belated congratulations
Belated promises and tries
nearly 2 weeks now I should have placed this on my heart
before my blog
but forgot
and further fell
deeper in last year and a new empty one

cleaning out my desktop
should I trash it?
is it too late to post it
and think about it
and do with it
like  a new piece of clothes
or a new ring
wearing it sexily and honestly
doing everything
bravely and couragously
even if theres mud on the road

should I post it and try again?
even if IM LATE
im always late
 but should I post it
like the message im posting on my heart

never give up.....
on Allah
or on yourself
or in your good soul
and your healthy mind
and your confident beautiful kind sexy and wonderful heart


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -