Monday, April 18, 2011

no more fbook

Life does not revolve around facebook
I wish , I honestly wish I could go back to the day I made a facebook
and think

I read somewhere that 10 million commments are made a day and 2 million friend requests are accepted - The article talked about 'being in the loop' and you become so much so in that loop - you cannot come out

every year after ramada - I promise myself I will only open it once a week -  then it becomes once a day for 15 minutes only
then I lose
to the loop
I feel like this is the first mistake in my life i need to fix

It's innocent I know - friends, comments, Pictures, more comments, posting what I like
jsut now I posted I like cherry blossoms
seeing what other peple are doing
why does that bother me?
what other people are doing

the problem with fbook is it has become a sort of communication
you  cannot jsut pick up and go
people text u email you catch u through fbook and u the same

it is a tough loop to detach from
but I feel like an invisible loop is tying me down so bad
when I open the net its always fbook
before the last moment i leave i check fbook
if I comment I wonder what people think or wrote
if I like a video or something I want every1 to know abot it

this is wrong
its also wrong to completely forget about it

balance

yes I have a fbook but it doesnt mean naything to me
I can and will not use it when I want to
I will leave it be the last thing i open in the day or week or even month
someone wants to contact me - they will find me and I will find them
I open my fbook in my own time not in its  time
I open my fbook to check my life not others
if I want to check otehr peoples lives it s not to intervene in them
it is not to 'find out about them'
it is to keep in touch
Fbook is not the only way of communication
whn i get htat feeling I want or have to open it
I Will stop it
 it is the first stage of healing
I cannot even imagine how much time I Will suddenly gain
that t ime is essential
it is my life that is stolen from me.....

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -