Monday, April 18, 2011

Dear Quran..... I come back to you

My long lost Quran
I have broken myself without you
I have expired
I miss you so much it hurts so bad and yet I am not there to find you
and be with you again
is that not ridiculous??
If you missed your lover would you not call tem, hug them, be with them
Dear lost Quran

Once upon a time
I learnt a lot of things from you
and I loved to learn the whole Quran
I promised myself this would be my lifelong dream
no matter how impossible it seemed
even jsut believing that opened so many doors

now - I see you from afar and forget you
now I only pick you up now and again
now I have forgotten all I used to know by heart
I have forgotten my heart
Dear heart - have you locked this gold from me?
Do you know where the key is?
Dear heart I know
I just know
that you would not never ever throw out such expensive matter from you
you have it stored
I know you do

 Quran I will find you again
you are my only medecine
my only hope
my only life once more
through you I find god
what sort of an expensive gift is that!
through you i seek forgiveness read pure honest words
words written by God
just truth
now isnt that true healing.............

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -