Saturday, April 23, 2011

it's time for change......

it's time for change
i'm tired of staying the same
sugar is sweet
but life is sweeter
pleasure is pain
God is not in vain
regret is unmanagable
fury is deceitful
time is running out
it's time for change
words have meaning
surrendering to the wrong
and looking at the past
for one last moment
body aching
memories full
it's time for change
but I will get beaten
this is stronger than me
.........sssshhhhhh
not that is love
forget the touch
of misery
and commisseration
and start the world
your world
without what makes you sick
......ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the thump in your body must stop
it's time for change
disconnection
from impurity
I am not going there again
impure
fingers hurting from typing
and others
it's time for change
respect
time is running out
its time to respect the time that is running out
and even though i once sat on that bench watching the river and feeling like my world will never end
the picture now does not have me and my world will end
it will end
i will oneday be accounted for
I will one day be asked
be questioned
be given ....a sentence
.............
it's time for change

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -