Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Toni Rich Project_ Nobody Knows that I miss my aunt & uncle
This song reminds me of my aunt and uncle as we used to drive by khartoum streets, nightime glistened and cars hooted for life to get out of the way but we were still, we were still with family, no money and extreme happiness, to be together to understand one another - for me to love life and to feel youth that could exist as we drove on rented cars finding a place for delicious ice cream listening to this song and other romantic songs on our 'cassette' player
When we got home we talked all through the night, mid night and quarter, I felt so expensive as - I felt revived with their love as i saw them and saw their love for each other
I envied them!
they were young romantic modern cool and yet they were traditional respectful wonderful and kind
for me they had everything
they had passion, late breakfasts, sweet words, they had beautiful children, they knew how to make someone laugh!they knew how to stay young, hey were young and they made me fall in love with sudan and more love
I used to see my aunt as part of my future womanly structure - in the future i Wanted to act like her , look like her , talk like her and make a family like her
my holidays were fun because of them
a big part of my past holds them ---
I will never forget midnight to sunshine -where we used to pray fajr and then sleep - they let me dream and i let myself dream....
So....What happened to them???
NOthing really... Just life I guess
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What it is...
I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.
My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-
My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.
But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.
Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...
Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -
It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -
My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-
My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.
But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.
Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...
Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -
It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -
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