Friday, July 2, 2010

Lost champion

U
sit back and let the world take your hard work and your talent
watching yourself get beaten because you have not practised or because you have not tried
suddenly what you used to do so easily
gets so difficult
suddenly who you are becomes meaningless
suddenly you are vulnerable to all

U start to feel the weakness inside but you are still too fuelled to lose
For a while you have enough of past fuel to let you run into suspension
for a while people are afraid of you, devils don't know how to atack you and even though you are losing
there is still a chance

will you take that chance though?
will you fight until the end
will you think of new ways so you do not get beaten
or will you drop and cry
will you take it badly so bad you cannot breathe more energy
you cannot think of new life for death has consumed you


I fear I was a champion
I knew what to do with who I am and most importantly
I believed
I knew I believed
I had no fear of ever losing that belief

Now
have I become a broken champion
have I just let all my soul go to waste
Lost champion where do I go?

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -