Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Run Island

I don't have a lot to say
except that - I wish I was on an island
where they take me from this world whether I want to or not
they take me to this beautiful island where there is nothing but palm trees and little huts, where there is sand and beach and water, cocunuts and the sound of far away
it doesnt matter if the storm comes or if the sun drains the land with heat
they take me to this island
where they rip me apart from my old emotions
and they make me run and run and run and run and run and run and run and run and eat only.... very little until my shape changes
where they only have freezing cold showers.. outside
where only u sleep at a certain time and wake at a certain time and wear colours of nothing really
in this island there is no emotion, you cannot think about anything except what you are doing in that very moment in time
you just think of how to survive
you have no past no future no pain no memories
you have no time but to think about the energy you need to
run and run and run and run and run
I wish I was on an island like that
where its just what I have to do - do it
DO IT
and
nothing else

the rest of your mind you cannot see
the rest of your thoughts you cannot bring
the rest of your heart you drown behind you



................

and run and run and run and run

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -