Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Stem cells for morning

There's no one round here as lucky as me in this moment in time
I ponder on my existence and remember how simply... lucky I am
for is Tuesday morning and my office even if temporary, even if for a day is beginning to look like elegance
and fact is
this is my first office and I will treasure it
even if for a day, even if for a week, even if for a year
I ask myself fighting in the morning is a real battle
but azera in a lip cup is a nice difference
and a good man is a great difference
but here I am ... oblivious to the fact
mornings are a nightmare

and then the worry kicks in
ohh dear

stem cells
I wish I could plant new stem cells in my mind to help me wake up t 6 each morning and do yoga and be nice

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -