Tuesday, December 22, 2015


“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”
― Norton Juster,

What about the noise after someone close to you like a young 14 year old girl dies , and inside yu ask yourself is it true? what did her face look like again? what were her last words to me, her last touch, her last thoughts of me>? did she like me/? as a person, as a sister? as a friend>? or just someone she used to know....

now will never know ...and that is a silence true

what about the silence inside you that you cannot make go away its so loud
you cant stop turning with the mess here and there and everywhere
like a collection of breaking glass or is it a whilwind of mistrust between you and you
what about that silence that nothing has been done and nothing has been fixed and nothing has been created and nothing has been understood

what about that silence when you think what is the other person thinking of me and badly you know exactly what it is  its loud their silence and hteir unspoken words
and theire true their loud unspoken words
of you

yadooob garat!!!

i hate the words that come ut of me sometimes a sequestrum of my laziness
a fragment of my broken soul
a kite of my lost freedom
for i really am locked up somewhere

what about the silence when they tell you.... sorry you didnt pass , or it was just a pass
what about hte silence when its negative
what about the silence when you just dont know what to do and who you are anymore

what about all that negative silence ?

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -