Sunday, January 25, 2015

sent from my iphone_soon will be here

I cant believe i joined a bootcamp for 2 weeks
Everyday ffrom monday
At 7
Whats the result at the  end?
Whats the benefit>?
To be happier
Not just healthier

I must change whats wrong about me
like being stubborn
like Being afraid of exercise
Being too weak 
like being angry
And i think im truly angry with myself
Because im not doing what i truly want

No one is stopping me but me
And i 
Want to begin a new page 
Soon he will come
Soon there's another chance 
Soon ill be in a new place
Soon it will be a new year
Soon will be here
And i dont want to be the same to meet soon

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -