Sunday, January 25, 2015

sent from my iphone 3_ happiness this way

I cant believe its here
Its still a dream
I feel like i cant go on
I feel like i wont get there
Ya rab help me
Ya rab help me
Ya rab let it go ok
Now later
And then tommorow
I want your help
I crave it
Ya allah
After all this time
We will be connected again
I have done a lot of mistakes
But missing out on u will no longer be one
I know i havnt been as religious as i should be but
Here i am
Better than ever
Revived to the core
I wont be that woman    
 he last saw
I wont be the same voice
Or thesame words
Or the same anyrhing
-------(written on the train , listening to believer kcole)
I meet a woman yesterday who says take a deep breath and exhale for 8 seconds - 
and your stress will be gone
But my stress will only go if i believe in Allah
His love his protection these last months
Ive been alone but ive been protected and sound

electricity runs through my veins to be the something else - 
mirrors reflect a woman new 
no more boring or bored
I know 
I know that God loves me 
and that is why he tests me

I wont 
I wont 
lose his love or his love ever again
for its like a jewel
and walking lost I ahve suddenly found the arrow that says 
happiness this way........... 

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -