Sunday, January 25, 2015

Echoes in my mind_(totally unconventional prayers)

Time runs 
Here i am
In my second wedding party
Hoping for a better future
Wishing upon a... Few dreams coming true
Loving who i am while weAring my pieces of jewellery 
Old new expensive cheap
Theyre mine
And they make me glitter
But faith also makes me glitter
And ive neglected it
My heart skips a beat
I miss african streets
It seems calm to me
Family tell me i look calmer
I ask myself
How stressed did i look before?
Whatever it is 
I dont want to lose this era of happiness im in
Suddenly i can see the coolness of our love
The memories young but tonnes
The new future we want
Am sick of always feeling i havnt reached my goals
I have and above...and I will and beyond
they await me...they do
Much happier listening to beyonce
While here in this land
A 4 metre turbaned man is the kill
Classic urbanity
Will see on saturday
I love my man
Feel like he is my man
I want him to be
Hes cool
I am too
And i do look good tonight
aNd i can look better sexier always
but I am the myriad of self hope
Hopeful wise young 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -